
We await the announcement that "many scientists" at Tr$mp University have identified a flotilla of alien spacecraft that are hovering out of site behind the moon while "the Chinese" are constructing a landing base for them.
Our affiliated future-reporting team at Smoldering Stump Gazette is following the story.
FUTURE UPDATE: White House - July 14 2025 - The presence of Indian and Chinese equipment, possibly of military design and intent, on the dark side of the Moon, which is forever turned away from earth, giving them a platform from which they might launch an attack on the USA at any time, is of increasing concern to forward-looking military minds like those of Pete Hegseth and Tulsi Gabbard.
Both of these countries, whom our valiant leader Donald J. Tr$mp has called collectively the "Asian menace," have planted their facilities near the Moon's south pole. The distance between the Indian Chandrayaan-3 landing site (69.37°S, 32.35°E) and the Chinese Chang'e-4 landing site (45.4446°S, 177.5991°E) on the Moon is approximately 1,891.24 kilometers.
The President was quick to note that both sites' names begin with "chan...," noting that "many people are saying" there is a deep connection between the superficially distinct programs," which are purportedly scientific in nature. He also pointed out that neither nation's announcement of its landings mentioned God. (Ed. note: The President did not in fact use the bigly words "superficially" or "purported" in his speech.)

The destruction of the Library of Alexandria some time before 650 AD (accounts vary) is universally cited as the greatest cultural outrage in history. Scholars will wonder what was lost until the end of time.
The role of the US in stopping a fascist takeover of the world in 1945 — no matter how one feels about the methods ultimately used — might have been an equal inflection point in human history. Tragically, some of the lesser fascists — along with their less vindictive, authoritarian fellow travelers — have been able to hide in the dark holes of their minds for 80 years, ready to emerge whenever the population might become sufficiently confused to restore them to power.
Now certain officials in the USA, believing in their own innate right to rule, are engaged in a pathetic attempt to belittle those who they believe have less value than their own self-exalted status. They are frantically trying to destroy evidence of anything that portraiys anyone or any event with whom or with which they do not personally identify as having played no meaningful role in the nation's history. Anyone who would have the country adopt a more honest view of its past and present unjust actions is also to be forgotten, along with anything that suggests the nation has ever strayed from the path of righteousness they ascribe only to themselves.
The salient example is the removal of photographs of the B-29 that carried the atomic bomb to Hiroshima in 1945. This is apparently due to the inconsequential fact that bomber pilot Paul Tibbets name the ship for his mother Enola GAY, and that's all it took for the insane Tr$mpian masters of purity to axe it.
In the case of the Pentagon documentation cited here, one notes that Tr$mp's musky DOGE fanboys are likely too focused on creating trippy algorithms to know the difference between adjectives like "gay" and surnames like "gay" — as in, "look, Bigballs, they're spelled the same, so they must be the same thing." All this would pathetically comical if it were not so destructive.
It remains to be seen whether light or darkness will prevail. One hopes that somewhere in the bowels of the Pentagon are a few honest men and women who will remember the path to the past. One hopes that others will take up the cause, making their own copies of "disappeared" items and publishing them randomly hither and yon.
Among other topics, neither the Pentagon nor the White House has commented on any reports suggesting that Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth is gay.
https://apnews.com/article/dei-purge-images-pentagon-diversity-women-black-8efcfaec909954f4a24bad0d49c78074

El Trumpitán
There are two competing designs. The other shows only the subject's face with a height of approximately 730' (222.5 meters) or 9x the height of the bust of George Washington at Mt. Rushmore.
The larger concept includes a full length necktie and certain historic details, making the overall height of the memorial almost 3,000 feet (914 meters), which many people are saying would never be surpassed.
Asked now the memorial would be created, lead designer Thorsten Pablum, a descendant of the creator of the Mt. Rushmore national memorial best known for his seminal work, 57 foot "Ode to Trump" statue in New York's Central Park, said that the AI tools Trump plans to develop soon, perhaps to be released in just days, would make the whole thing possible.
Pablum added that he expects to bring the project to completion in at very reasonable cost, not to exceed the rest of the federal budget for the target years 2046/7, when the President --or whatever high(er) office he then holds -- will be able to enjoy the view from the new Trump Tower Yosemite across the valley.
Controversy
Asked about the impact on the natural environment, Pablum admitted that the project would change the monolith forever, causing some Yosemite traditionalists to argue against the creation of the monument.
"We would have to lower the summit by about 100 feet to allow us to fully style the Leader's signature hairdo" he said, adding "and, of course in the full-size design we would be staining the rock to define the president's clothing. The hardest part will be to carefully stain the stripes of the necktie, which is an epic feature everyone loves."
"However, if you're going to honor the man who wanted to bring egg prices down, you have to break some rocks," he quipped.
When asked about how the nation would pay for the memorial, the White House pointed out that instead of reducing taxes the money could be better spent on the memorial, which at the current rates should retire any debt incurred not later than the year 2325, in time for the 300th anniversary of Trump's second inauguration.
The people of the kingdom responded with mixed emotions. Lamentably, most shrugged and accepted their lot. A minority at the margin whose lives hung in a tenuous balance between simple unreason and perilous insanity hailed the choice. A smaller minority who ofttimes pondered difficult concepts like gravity and chemistry and who carried a memory of the days before the monarchy seized power were verily vexed.
One brave kinswoman of the prince, who had traveled beyond the kingdom and learned the ways of other lands, challenged the king's proposed action, writing thus to the kings ministers...
Throughout the past year, people have asked for my thoughts about my cousin, Robert Kennedy, Jr. and his presidential campaign.
I did not comment, not only because I was serving in a government position as United States Ambassador to Australia, but because I have never wanted to speak publicly about my family members and their challenges. We are a close generation of 28 cousins who have been through a lot together. We know how hard it has been, and we are always there for each other.
But now that Bobby has been nominated by President Trump to be Secretary of Health and Human Services, a position that would put him in charge of the health of the American people, I feel an obligation to speak out.
Overseeing the FDA, the NIH, the CDC, and the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services — agencies that are charged with protecting the most vulnerable among us — is an enormous responsibility, and one that Bobby is unqualified to fill. He lacks any relevant government, financial, management, or medical experience. His views on vaccines are dangerous and willfully misinformed. These facts alone should be disqualifying. But he has personal qualities related to this position which, for me, post even greater concern.
I have known Bobby my whole life; we grew up together. It’s no surprise that he keeps birds of prey as pets because he himself is a predator. He has always been charismatic — able to attract others through the strength of his personality, willingness to take risks and break the rules. I watched his younger brothers and cousins follow him down the path of drug addiction. His basement, his garage, and his dorm room were the centers of the action where drugs were available, and he enjoyed showing off how he put baby chickens and mice in the blender to feed his hawks. It was often a perverse scene of despair and violence.
Of course, people can grow and change. Through his own strength — and the many second chances he was given by people who felt sorry for the boy who had lost his father — Bobby was able to pull himself out of illness and disease. I admire the discipline that took and the continuing commitment it requires.
But siblings and cousins who Bobby encouraged down the path of substance abused suffered addiction, illness, and death while Bobby has gone on to misrepresent, lie, and cheat his way through life. Today, while he may encourage a younger generation to attend AA meetings, Bobby is addicted to attention and power. Bobby preys on the desperation of parents and sick children — vaccinating his own children while building a following by hypocritically discouraging other parents from vaccinating theirs. Even before he fills this job, his constant denigration of our health care system and the conspiratorial half-truths he has told about vaccines, including in connection with Samoa’s deadly 2019 measles outbreak, have cost lives.
And now we know that Bobby’s crusade against vaccination has benefited him in other ways, too. His ethics report makes clear that he will keep his financial stake in a lawsuit against an HPV vaccine. In other words, he is willing to enrich himself by denying access to a vaccine that can prevent almost all forms of cervical cancer and which has been safely administered to millions of boys and girls. During my time in Australia working on the QUAD Cancer Moonshot, I learned that cervical cancer is among the top three forms of cancer among women in a majority of countries. Tragically every year, more than 200,000 children lose their mothers, orphaned due to a lack of vaccines and screening. These are the real-world consequences of Bobby’s irresponsible beliefs.
We are a close family and none of this is easy to say. It also wasn’t easy to remain silent last year when Bobby expropriated my father’s image and distorted President Kennedy’s legacy to advance his own failed presidential campaign — and then groveled to Donald Trump for a job. Bobby continues to grandstand off my father’s assassination, and that of his own father. It is incomprehensible that someone who is willing to exploit their own painful family tragedies for publicity would be in charge of American life-and-death situations.
Unlike Bobby, I try not to speak for my father — but I am certain that he and my Uncle Bobby, who gave their lives in public service, and my Uncle Teddy, who devoted his Senate career to improving health care, would be disgusted.
The American health care system, for all its flaws, is the envy of the world. Its doctors and nurses, researchers, scientists, and caregivers are the most dedicated people I know. Every day, they give their lives to heal and save others. They deserve a knowledgable leader who is committed to evidence and excellence. They deserve a Secretary committed to advancing cutting-edge medicine to save lives, not rejecting the advances we have already made. They deserve a stable, moral, and ethical person at the helm of this crucial agency. They deserve better than Bobby Kennedy — and so do the rest of us. I urge the Senate to reject this nomination.
Sincerely,
Caroline Kennedy" *
And the people were sore afraid.
* As transcribed by Couric, et al.

Previous reports have indicated that his choice is Bulgarian immigrant Круела Де Вил (portrait), well known for her discriminating taste in adolescent canines. The choice is said to be a condescension to immigration supporters.
UPDATE: Ms Де Вил has stated that she'd be delighted to accept the appointment, noting that she could think of at least 101 immediate actions she could take in furtherance of the president's platform.
Apology to Disney et al.


Advisor: After these few weeks of Harris as the new nominee of the Democrat Party, some polls say she's ahead nationally. (Republicans always omit the adjectival ending of Democratic, which makes the authors feel this is authentic.)
Tr*mp: We could say she's a woman.
Advisor: Actually, that's fairly self-evident, and her pitch so far is oriented toward really delivering on family-oriented service economic policy.
Tr*mp: We could say she's Black.
Advisor: Actually, she is half Black, via Jamaica, and half Indian.
Tr*mp: We could say she's not Black enough.
Advisor: Actually she seems to respect both her parents' ancestry and culture.
Tr*mp: We could say she flip-flops on her race.
Advisor: Actually, sir (Tr*mp loves it when they call him "sir"), her Indian mother brought her up in a mostly Black city in part so that she would be OK with that background.
Tr*mp: We could say she's confused about race.
Advisor: Actually, sir, the polls say that younger generations care much less about old racial stereotypes and don't think it matters as long as they're being told the truth.
Tr*mp: We could say she's black.
Advisor: Well...
Tr*mp: Let's move on: I'm having trouble choosing a humiliating nickname. How does "Colored Kamala" strike you?
Advisor: The Base will love it, sir. Screw the election; say what you feel!
Tr*mp: Did you notice how many people were at the rally? I loved it when Hannibal Lecter led the torch parade. The torches gave off a lot of light. Many people are saying the border is scary. I had an uncle who was a famous scientist; he could explain why the light shines. Did you catch the rack on that receptionist?


"Every aspect of the candidate's professional career is well known to the public, so no exaggeration is necessary. It's not like we just make stuff up." spokesmodel Kellyanne Apologista said.
IMDB said it had no record of the films identified by the campaign.

Critics have panned the artwork, despite its lifelike detail, which is based on Giuliani's well known Four Seasons Landscaping speech in which he asserted to assembled reporters and customers at a nearby pornography shop that the election was stolen. Even the famous hair-dye streak is faithfully immortalized.
Update: Typographic correction 15 Aug 2024.
Participants are asked to contribute $1 and specify the date, hour and minute said deportation will occur. The person whose guess is closest to the minute but not earlier will win 90% of the funds collected. SSG will retain 10% for administration. In case of tie (same date, hour and minute), the prize will be equally divided.
More information is linked below.
Puedes participar en la encuesta de Smoldering Stump Gazette sobre cuánto tiempo después de la horrible perspectiva de una toma de posesión de Trump, será deportado el primer ciudadano estadounidense nativo que parezca alguien del hemisferio occidental, tenga apellido español y pueda responder a preguntas sencillas en español.
Se solicita a los participantes que contribuyan con $1 y especifiquen la fecha, la hora y el minuto en que se producirá la dicha deportación. La persona cuya suposición sea la más cercana al minuto pero no antes ganará el 90% de los fondos recaudados. SSG retendrá el 10% para la administración. En caso de empate (misma fecha, hora y minuto), el premio se dividirá en partes iguales.
Más información está en el siguiente enlace.

The purpose of the legislation will be to increase the proportion of floor space available for the overall purpose of the buildings by decreasing the share of each building's footprint used for stairways. A gain of approximately sixteen percent usable space is anticipated by consulting architects.
All 73 Republican legislators supported the bill, while none of the 28 Democrats approved.
Opponents of the legislation pointed out that children, elderly persons and women would find it more difficult to ascend the steeper stairs, but that argument was rejected by the legislators. Also opposed were a preponderance of physicians and surgeons in the only public polling preceding the vote.

A spokesperson for Persistently Emotional Treatment of Animals (PETA) defended the feline wanderers Friday morning, claiming that both pornstars and feral cats work hard for a living and deserve a little fun now and then, "just like Tr*mp," and that there is no reason to defame either group by such a metaphor.
This just in. SSG has not been able to verify the comments expresssed.
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