The Tr*mp Campaign has neither confirmed nor denied that the following is an accurate transcription of a recent strategy session with advisors.

Advisor: After these few weeks of Harris as the new nominee of the Democrat Party, some polls say she's ahead nationally. (Republicans always omit the adjectival ending of Democratic, which makes the authors feel this is authentic.)

Tr*mp: We could say she's a woman.

Advisor: Actually, that's fairly self-evident, and her pitch so far is oriented toward really delivering on family-oriented service economic policy.

Tr*mp: We could say she's Black.

Advisor: Actually, she is half Black, via Jamaica, and half Indian.

Tr*mp: We could say she's not Black enough.

Advisor: Actually she seems to respect both her parents' ancestry and culture.

Tr*mp: We could say she flip-flops on her race.

Advisor: Actually, sir (Tr*mp loves it when they call him "sir"), her Indian mother brought her up in a mostly Black city in part so that she would be OK with that background.

Tr*mp: We could say she's confused about race.

Advisor: Actually, sir, the polls say that younger generations care much less about old racial stereotypes and don't think it matters as long as they're being told the truth.

Tr*mp: We could say she's black.

Advisor: Well...

Tr*mp: Let's move on: I'm having trouble choosing a humiliating nickname. How does "Colored Kamala" strike you?

Advisor: The Base will love it, sir. Screw the election; say what you feel!

Tr*mp: Did you notice how many people were at the rally? I loved it when Hannibal Lecter led the torch parade. The torches gave off a lot of light. Many people are saying the border is scary. I had an uncle who was a famous scientist; he could explain why the light shines. Did you catch the rack on that receptionist?

Former losing presidential candidate Donald Trump has continued to double down on his promises to deport millions of immigrants and to separate families at the border.

Challenged by recent publication of advertisements for unlreased films, the RNC today reiterated that rumors of a campaign of padding D. J. Tr*mp's résumé lack any semblance of truth.

"Every aspect of the candidate's professional career is well known to the public, so no exaggeration is necessary. It's not like we just make stuff up." spokesmodel Kellyanne Apologista said.

IMDB said it had no record of the films identified by the campaign.

Source

Washington DC Dec 20 — House Speaker Mike Johnson joined Senate leaders today to consider the fate of the recently delivered life-size bronze bust of Rudy Giuliani, recently delivered despite some embarrassment due to a Georgia court's order that he pay over $146 million to two women he defamed as part of former president Donald X. Trump's scheme to remain in power despite an overwhelming 2020 loss to Joe Biden. The group would neither confirm nor deny that they have been considering auctioning off the statue to help Giuliani pay that debt.

Critics have panned the artwork, despite its lifelike detail, which is based on Giuliani's well known Four Seasons Landscaping speech in which he asserted to assembled reporters and customers at a nearby pornography shop that the election was stolen. Even the famous hair-dye streak is faithfully immortalized.

Update: Typographic correction 15 Aug 2024.

(En español por abajo) — You can join Smoldering Stump Gazette's poll on how long after the horrifying prospect of a Tr*mp inauguration the first native-born American citizen who happens to look like someone from the Western Hemisphere, has a Spanish surname and can respond to simple questions in Spanish will be deported.

Participants are asked to contribute $1 and specify the date, hour and minute said deportation will occur. The person whose guess is closest to the minute but not earlier will win 90% of the funds collected. SSG will retain 10% for administration. In case of tie (same date, hour and minute), the prize will be equally divided.

More information is linked below.

Puedes participar en la encuesta de Smoldering Stump Gazette sobre cuánto tiempo después de la horrible perspectiva de una toma de posesión de Trump, será deportado el primer ciudadano estadounidense nativo que parezca alguien del hemisferio occidental, tenga apellido español y pueda responder a preguntas sencillas en español.

Se solicita a los participantes que contribuyan con $1 y especifiquen la fecha, la hora y el minuto en que se producirá la dicha deportación. La persona cuya suposición sea la más cercana al minuto pero no antes ganará el 90% de los fondos recaudados. SSG retendrá el 10% para la administración. En caso de empate (misma fecha, hora y minuto), el premio se dividirá en partes iguales.

Más información está en el siguiente enlace.

More • Más

It was reported today that the legislature has voted to increase the pitch of stairways in all new construction of state buildings from a ratio of 45º to 53º. This will be accomplished by increasing the height of the "riser" portion of all "stringer" elements in new staircases.

The purpose of the legislation will be to increase the proportion of floor space available for the overall purpose of the buildings by decreasing the share of each building's footprint used for stairways. A gain of approximately sixteen percent usable space is anticipated by consulting architects.

All 73 Republican legislators supported the bill, while none of the 28 Democrats approved.

Opponents of the legislation pointed out that children, elderly persons and women would find it more difficult to ascend the steeper stairs, but that argument was rejected by the legislators. Also opposed were a preponderance of physicians and surgeons in the only public polling preceding the vote.

Continues...

US President Joe Biden may have set animal welfare back by decades with his debate rebuke to Donald Tr*mp that he had "the morals of an alley cat" as part of an exchange over Tr*mp's brief affair with a pornographic actress.

A spokesperson for Persistently Emotional Treatment of Animals (PETA) defended the feline wanderers Friday morning, claiming that both pornstars and feral cats work hard for a living and deserve a little fun now and then, "just like Tr*mp," and that there is no reason to defame either group by such a metaphor.

Continues...

This just in. SSG has not been able to verify the comments expresssed.

Post by @parkinglotpatty

View on Threads

Fodder for believers...

The Smoldering Stump Stormy Daniels Film Festival will be rescheduled at the request of The Tr*mp Campaign to allow fans of Donald Tr*mp in red states additional time to lay in supplies, as many of the needed items are illegal or otherwise unavailable in those areas.

Watch this space for further announcements including identities of additional featured performers! You won't want to miss finding out whom and what Tr*mp grabs next.

Rumors that this page is recording IP address have been greatly exaggerated.

Image credit progressive-charlestown.com.

A note on free speech

Washington DC - 20 Jan 2029 - Beneath sunny skies despite chilly weather, President-for-Life (PFL) Donald Tr*mp celebrated his forthcoming third term in office, which will have no prescribed end date. A crowd of supporters queued up for the event, a really, really hyuuuge crowd.

Each admirer clutched raffle tickets as the hour approached for selecting 100 lucky initial occupants of the new Tr*mp Capitol Hotel, which occupies the former US Capitol. Trump himself will draw the first winner from a large simulated-gold barrel in the Rotunda of the historic building. Other rooms in the hotel have been reserved for donors to the PFL Civic Renewal Fund, a registered charity benefitting displaced foreign oligarchs.

The former Capitol became available after His Excellency PFL Tr*mp decided that the Senate and House of Representatives had become superfluous in an era of perfect government.

The building was leased to Tr*mp affiliates at a rate of one dollar ($1.00) per year for 999 years. Although the building and land were considered priceless before the new leadership assumed office, it was valued at only $79.95 by the PFL, and at the direction of his Excellency PFL Tr*mp that valuation was used to set the lease terms.

The new Tr*mp Capitol hotel has 1,735 rooms in the former House wing, which rent for an average $1,875 per night, and 821 rooms in the former Senate wing at $4,350 per night, making for a potential $6,824,475 per night at full occupancy, totaling $2.4 billion annually. According to the lease (which was signed by PFL Trump as both lessor and lessee), proceeds from the hotel will be "put to good use."

As part of the renovation, the statue of George Washington was removed last year and transferred to a neighborhood park in West Palm Beach where, PFL Trump assured the nation, the first president would be much happier. A new and much larger solid gold statue of PFL Tr*mp himself has taken its place, made of gold from Fort Knox that was otherwise just taking up space.

Funding for the on-site casting of the 16-foot statue, which weighs over 57 tons, was financed by a consortium of Russian, Arabian and Chinese interests in exchange for "a certain amount of cash" and "a small US state and/or foreign nation to be named later."

During the ceremony PFL Trump addressed the assembled throng. A crowd larger than any the world has ever seen before, according to the PFL, heard the leader announce that the ensuing term would be dedicated to the righting of the many wrongs that have been imposed on the PFL, for which the people who allowed such terrible things to happen would be made to pay through a special tax that would be reimbursable by special assessments on those unqualified voters who falsely elected another person, mention of whose name is now prohibited, for one of the presidential terms for which God and the Universe intended PFL Tr*mp himself. Proceeds will be awarded to the PFL himself by way of compensation for past wrongs, which will go unchallenged under the PFL's recent decree abolishing judicial oversight of presidential orders.

Film at 11.

(Updated 18 Jan and 8 May 2024, with considerable prescience.)

During the week of February 12, the New York Times reported that Donald Tr*mp has told allies that he backs a 16-week national abortion ban, albeit with some exceptions.

Tr*mp, always proud of his vast scientific prowess, purportedly favors a national ban at 16 weeks in part because it is "a round number." The bizarre absurdity of that perspective led a spokesperson to assert that Tr*mp thought the timing would keep women who have abortions from becoming too round, a condition he has been known to deprecate.

For more information about the utter (R)idiculousness surrounding the matter follow the link below.

More information

An anonymous reader has proposed a possible solution to the Alabama IVF dilemma whereby religious zealots with no understanding of science, medicine or statistics can be encouraged to put their money where their mouths are.

Definitions

Virtual female participant: "A human being seeking to become pregnant and possessing a suitable organ for gestation of an embryo and/or fetus," not to be referred to as a "woman" on pain of picketing outside their home by newspeaking, self-identified "non-cisgender" enthusiasts for the rest of their lives, or a list with an equally ridiculous made-up pseudo-gender.

Virtual male particpant: "a human being not possessing the characteristics defining gestational capabilities of a virtual female participant," not to be referred to as a "man" under the same linguistic strictures.

Procedures

1. Persons seeking IVF services shall sign a release allowing an IVF clinic upon completion of all agreed procedures to transfer to qualified individuals such individual embryos resulting from said procedures as are viable and (a) are not implanted in the participating virtual female participant (see definitions) and (b) for which the contributing virtual participants (see definitions) do not intend to maintain in stasis until the end of time.

2. Anti-abortion zealots (and others seeking to acquire rights in such embryos-children-things) shall join a paired list of
(a) a virtual female participant and corresponding
(b) virtual male participant
who shall as couples assume financial responsibility for all expenses incurred by said clinic prior to the time of conception and until the embryo-fetus-child aka cell cluster dies or reaches his/her/its majority.

3. Upon certification and payment of all said cost to clinic, the applicant zealot virtual female participant shall have implanted within an appropriate bodily organ (see definitions) a randomly selected "orphan" embryo and shall immediately assume all financial, personal and moral support therefor.

See Alabama state implantation guidebonk for further information or complete the adjacent state application form link.

Or if you think this is all nutty beyond belief, scream loudly and throw your communication device against the nearest wall.

In 1952 when I was nine I saw "High Noon" for the first of many times. I always thought it was about valor amid conflict. I watched it with new eyes today.

Of course, you know the story: Frank Miller's return will spell disaster for Marshal Will Kane and his bride Amy. Amy chooses to flee. Will must seek the help of the townspeople, but one by one and in groups they turn away, afraid or uncaring, forsaking their duty to the community and ultimately to themselves. The church, surely the bastion of goodness and light, cannot rally its people to defend the right. Even his oldest friend will step away from the line of fire, giving a valid but hopeless response. Will must overcome his fear and despair and face the situation alone.

In the ensuing battle, Will dispatches two of Frank's henchmen but is left wounded and vulnerable. The last accomplice stands before the marshal's office ready to kill.

Amy has not fled, but the cowards have left no alternatives, forcing her to choose between Will's life and death, between faith and duty. We have already seen a glimpse of Amy's only remaining path (adj. photo). She takes it, leaving Will a path to survival.

They leave town, she in hope of happiness, he in contempt for its residents.

OK, America, what's really going on here?

"Frank Miller" has already had one chance to victimize the community. He perpetrated all manner of crimes while the people stood silent. He wants to do so again.

A gang of sycophants has formed around Frank, hoping to grab the scraps he discarded and to replace him should he fall. They will speak and act for him, not tolerating the least resistance and grabbing all they can.

A minority knows that action is necessary to stop a return to chaos. Even those are willing to tolerate evil imposed on others and to let that evil rise to the ultimate destruction of the community. Few or none are willing to be the tallest nail, even to the limited extent of speaking out against Frank.

A legal process is in place to deal with the danger, but unless the citizenry coalesces around the law, Miller and his gang will overwhelm them individually.

Does any of this sound familiar?

Like Will and Amy, those who act for the good of others will be remembered, while those who acquiesce will be reviled.

Rewind the film. We are still together in the church with many options. We must not force Amy to the wall again.

—RC

According to a confidential source, The Tr*mp Organization is diversifying its communications services. Here is a prototype of plans for promoting tourism in Spain after Vladimir Putin achieves his plans for Western Europe, which TTO clearly supports. The sign says "Welcome to Spain" in Spanish, written phonetically in the new 9th Century pan-European script favored by Putin.

About this article