Smoldering Stump Gazette
News and Commentary
Tr$mp Library Takes Shape

Plans for the Trump Presidential Library are well under way as president Donald J. Trump continues toward January 20, 2029. It is now estimated that the project's result may be among the largest structures ever conceived.

The reason for the scale of the project is that the intent of the committee is to include a printed copy of every book that Trump has never read. Since this is likely to amount to almost every book ever printed, the library would need to be as tall as Dubai's Burj Khalifa and occupy a footprint 3.5 times that of the Pentagon. The volume of the building would be approximately 3,135,361,680 cubic feet, or 25 times the volume of the Superdome in New Orleans.

The Committee has neither confirmed nor denied reports that the lobby of the Library will feature a 1953 Volkswagen beetle with a luggage compartment containing all the books Trump has read. A committee insider, however, who asked to remain anonymous, supplied the author with the accompanying image.

Fact Check

Comments
parsnip - Apr 3, 2026, 5:07 PM
One cannot but note that the vehicle shown has the large, post-1964 rear window, meaning that it cannot be a '53 model. The President has labeled this report as "fake news" as expected. Readers are encouraged to draw their own conclusions from the available facts.
rashlimbaw - Apr 3, 2026, 5:27 PM
Also appears to have the 1968? modern license plate holder and lamp. Joe Biden and Hellary Clinton obviously tinkered with the report.

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